I want to start off by saying that my hope is, was, and always will be found in Jesus. He has blessed me with so many wonderful things that I know I do not deserve, but He's seen fit to give me so much! Besides His free gift of forgiveness and salvation, God has given me an above-average family (no offense, but we're the best), the highest quality friends on earth, wonderful ministry opportunities, and my every need to be met. Jesse has been one of the best recent gifts - the best baby we could ask for. But again, my hope is in the Lord. Not in my family and friends. Not in missions or things. Not in my children or my ability to have them...
The Update
By now you may have already gotten the idea of where this is going. We are sad to report that Baby #2 is no longer with us. He or she got to go be with the Creator before us. Our hearts, though full of love and blessings, are very broken about this. We had so many dreams for Baby and thanked God daily for him or her. Jesse has been practicing for several weeks to be a big brother. He doesn't understand any of it, but we are sad for that loss, too.
I have talked with the Lord a lot about this over the last several weeks. For some reason, since the beginning, I had kind of a funny feeling about the pregnancy and couldn't get nearly as excited as I was with Jesse. This caused me to pray for Baby a lot and ask God what was going on. He has really given me peace even in the heartache. The peace of the Lord really does surpass understanding. There was only one small moment that I asked, "Why?".
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
The Answer
Immediately after I asked I felt kind of silly because I already knew the answer. It's the same answer for why horribly sad things happen every day, and it's often referred to as "The Fall." When Adam and Eve chose to disobey God in the Garden sin, death, and destruction came into the picture for all of us who were born on this earth. We live in a completely broken and dying world. We all have lied, cheated, stolen, taken the Lord's name in vain, and more... much, much more. It was not God's original plan for us, but in all His infinite wisdom He already had a plan to bring us back into a right relationship with Him. Jesus, God the Son, was and is the answer. Living a perfect life He showed us as an example how we are to live. Then He sacrificed Himself - dying in our place to take our punishment and offer us forgiveness. Thankfully, that's not the end of the story. With his resurrection, we are offered a new life, an eternal life, with Him by our side the whole way. It's a choice that we each have to accept this free gift that He offers. It is our prayer that all of you who may be reading this would choose to receive that gift.
It's not an easy life, but it's worth it. God gives peace and walks through the tough times with you.
He is my hope. Join me?
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock.
-Matthew 7:24-25
