Jesse's Birth Story

 Better Late Than Never

It's been a year and a half (2 by the time that I finished...) and I've been wanting to get this written down since. But you know... life. Things get really busy, but I want to write this down so that it's not all forgotten and someday if Jesse wanted to know the details then he could. After just 18 months, it's honestly shocking how much I've already forgotten. Thankfully I made a lot of updates on a Facebook group with some of my best friends as everything was happening. 

The Pregnancy

I took a positive pregnancy test on March 18, 2019 (my second anniversary). I'd had my suspicions that I was pregnant and was elated to find out it was true! Honestly, the pregnancy was pretty uneventful and super smooth. I didn't have really bad morning sickness ever. (Got sick maybe 5-6 times the whole 39 weeks!) I definitely felt extra tired during the first trimester, but after that felt great with so much energy. I also was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at about 11 weeks so I had to really watch my diet, check my blood 4 times each day, and take insulin every night. Though it was a bummer, it was a blessing in disguise: I lost a bunch of weight over the next 28 weeks and ended my pregnancy weighing less than I did at the start! (I quickly gained it all and more back afterward... but that's beside the point haha.) 

The Week Of

One super fun thing about having gestational diabetes is that you get a lot of extra appointments. I got to see/hear Jesse more times than I can even count. During the last several weeks I started having appointments where they would monitor Jesse's heartbeat for a certain amount of time to be sure that he had a specific amount of activity and movement. During the last few weeks of pregnancy, I got to go in twice each week for the monitoring. Because of my work schedule, it made the most sense for me to have my appointments on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 

Because of gestational diabetes, I knew that I would most likely not be able to carry to 40 weeks and would probably be induced early if he didn't decide to come on his own. In the last couple of weeks, we scheduled an induction for November 11, 2019. Then on Tuesday, November 5th at our usual appointment Jesse was napping when he was supposed to be performing for the monitors. So my doctor sent me to the hospital to be monitored for a couple more hours. Of course, Jesse did perfectly at the hospital! So home I went. Thursday, November 7th came my next appointment, and once again Jesse was not cooperating. My doctor was about ready to send me to the hospital to be induced that night! (But I am a planner and did not want it to go that way!) I practically begged her to give us more time and let us just go in in the morning the next day. We pushed and wiggled and did what we needed to in order to get the readings we needed to be able to move on. Then I went home and prepared myself, and everyone else, for the baby to actually come!

The Wonderful Day

We had all of our stuff (for the three of us) packed up in the van and made it to the hospital at 7am on Friday, November 8th. We were very excited. We had no idea just how much paperwork there would be, though. After doing all the officey stuff we got to go upstairs to our room. I had heard a lot of scary stories about being induced and how Pitocin just made things worse, so I wanted to try to induce labor as naturally as possible. My first step was to break my water and see if that would help to progress things. At 9:25am they broke my water. I was 3cm, 50%, and -2! I was so excited (although I'd been at 3cm for a few weeks already)! Then I did a lot of walking, dancing, ball bouncing, etc to see if I could get things moving along on my own. Unfortunately, that didn't do the trick.

So we started Pitocin at 1pm. They started dripping it in at level 2. I really hoped that I didn't have to go to high! (Spoiler, they only had to go up to level 8!) By 4:14 I was at 4cm, 75%, and his head was at 0! My contractions were becoming more frequent and intense, and I was getting excited. At my 7pm check, things moved up to 5cm and 80%. At this point I had at least a dozen people hanging out with us in the hospital room. Surrounded by people I love who love me was just what I wanted and exactly how I wanted Jesse to be welcomed into the outside. My mom was rubbing my back in the best way possible, and my husband, Ben, was being so encouraging. Everyone else was visiting and there was much happiness and excitement in the room.

Things were escalating and I was focused on my breathing and pushing through. I was bound and determined to do the birthing process drug-free. My first nurse of the day encouraged me to have a mantra, of sorts, and I decided that Philippians 4:13 was a good place to go. So as I inhaled I thought "I can do all things" and as I exhaled I thought "Through Christ who gives me strength." Each and every time. And honestly, it got me through. A friend had just had a baby a couple weeks prior and she also encouraged me with something that helped her get through - she looked at a cross on the wall and realized that if Jesus could go through all that He did for us, it's the least we can do to go through some temporary discomfort for our sweet babies. 

I finally decided it could be nice to try a bath so Ben and I headed into the bathroom to see if that could help relieve some of the pain and push things along. I was so unbelievably uncomfortable and just kept shifting and moving around. Ben was rubbing my back and was so sweet, but nothing was helping. Decided to get out and told my mom that I didn't think I could do this all night. I was about ready to give in and ask for some pain meds. 

So my mom was sure it must be time for Jesse to come and told the nurses. They agreed to check me out and my mom asked everyone to leave knowing it wasn't long. As the nurses were checking me out I felt my body starting to push. It was the most surreal feeling since I wasn't intentionally doing it. I told the nurses and they were way more chill about it all than I'd expect. It was almost as if they didn't believe it, but they started getting me ready and called the doctor. I pushed three times and then the nurses made me just breathe through the next contraction! One of the nurses said, "I don't want to deliver another baby." And I was just along for the ride Haha. Thankfully the doctor showed up quickly and I pushed one more time and Jesse was out! He came barreling out. It was wild. 

Then our sweet Jesse Robert was here, on the outside. All 7lbs 1oz, 20.5 in of him. He was born at 9:13pm on Friday, November 8th. Little did I know how much damage this little dude did to my body. The placenta followed pretty quickly after Jesse and the doctor started sewing me up... I am sure I flinched and made a face. She told the nurses to turn up my epidural - completely forgetting that I was not using any pain meds. (And apparently, I was handling things like a champ.) So I got some pain meds hooked up into my IV and the sewing took about an hour!!! Then the crew finally got to come in and meet the sweet boy. 

We were so in love with our sweet Jesse and had to stay in the hospital all of Saturday and got to go home Sunday afternoon. Which was probably for the best anyway because I lost a lot of blood and couldn't even stand for a long time. I tried to go to the bathroom and nearly passed out so I spent nearly a day with a catheter. Wild times. 

Took me about 5 months to fully heal up, but it was all worth it. And we are beyond blessed to have Jesse. ...and it's really nice to be able to eat carbs and sugars again. 

Baby #2

First Things First

I want to start off by saying that my hope is, was, and always will be found in Jesus. He has blessed me with so many wonderful things that I know I do not deserve, but He's seen fit to give me so much! Besides His free gift of forgiveness and salvation, God has given me an above-average family (no offense, but we're the best), the highest quality friends on earth, wonderful ministry opportunities, and my every need to be met. Jesse has been one of the best recent gifts - the best baby we could ask for. But again, my hope is in the Lord. Not in my family and friends. Not in missions or things. Not in my children or my ability to have them...

The Update

By now you may have already gotten the idea of where this is going. We are sad to report that Baby #2 is no longer with us. He or she got to go be with the Creator before us. Our hearts, though full of love and blessings, are very broken about this. We had so many dreams for Baby and thanked God daily for him or her. Jesse has been practicing for several weeks to be a big brother. He doesn't understand any of it, but we are sad for that loss, too. 

I have talked with the Lord a lot about this over the last several weeks. For some reason, since the beginning, I had kind of a funny feeling about the pregnancy and couldn't get nearly as excited as I was with Jesse. This caused me to pray for Baby a lot and ask God what was going on. He has really given me peace even in the heartache. The peace of the Lord really does surpass understanding. There was only one small moment that I asked, "Why?".

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

The Answer

Immediately after I asked I felt kind of silly because I already knew the answer. It's the same answer for why horribly sad things happen every day, and it's often referred to as "The Fall." When Adam and Eve chose to disobey God in the Garden sin, death, and destruction came into the picture for all of us who were born on this earth. We live in a completely broken and dying world. We all have lied, cheated, stolen, taken the Lord's name in vain, and more... much, much more. It was not God's original plan for us, but in all His infinite wisdom He already had a plan to bring us back into a right relationship with Him. Jesus, God the Son, was and is the answer. Living a perfect life He showed us as an example how we are to live. Then He sacrificed Himself - dying in our place to take our punishment and offer us forgiveness. Thankfully, that's not the end of the story. With his resurrection, we are offered a new life, an eternal life, with Him by our side the whole way. It's a choice that we each have to accept this free gift that He offers. It is our prayer that all of you who may be reading this would choose to receive that gift. 

It's not an easy life, but it's worth it. God gives peace and walks through the tough times with you. 

He is my hope. Join me?

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock. 

-Matthew 7:24-25

Goals: Not Just for New Years

The Struggle is Real

For much of my life I have struggled with low self-esteem. There are many things that have contributed to how I saw myself, but what it all comes down to is that I wasn't seeing myself the way God sees me. The enemy sure knows how to push our buttons and distract us from truth. 

The truths that I was forgetting are that God doesn't make mistakes, that He knit me together fearfully and wonderfully in my mother's womb, that I was created for a purpose, and that He says I'm beautiful. A friend gave me a verse in college that really did help in my journey to seeing myself through God's eyes. Psalm 45:11 says "Let the King be enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord." I have literally written this on my bathroom wall as a reminder that God finds me beautiful and I am to honor Him in that. I tell myself regularly, and have come to believe it!

But the struggle is still real. I know that there are ways that I can honor God with my body. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I know that He's bought me with a price and deserves my best.

A Healthier Life

I've decided that I want to set some goals for myself to live a healthier life. Healthier in every way: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I am tired of being fat. Sick of skipping my quiet times with God. And I don't want to put myself on the back burner forever. The airlines know what I often forget, I need to help myself in order to be able to help others. The second greatest commandment is to love others as I love myself, but if I don't love and take care of myself at all then that's how I will treat others. And that's not good. There must be balance. 

So I thought of 7 categories that need growth and improvement right away. Hopefully in working on all 7 I can find some more balance in my life. The categories ended up being: 

1. Chores (I need to be more faithful to my family and help out regularly), 
2. Work (having three jobs I really need to balance my time and energy), 
3. Food (really, I just need to eat less - my ultimate goal is to lose 50 pounds), 
4. Bible (I must be more faithful about spending time in the Word and journaling), 
5. Mind (I want to improve my thinking - reading more and taking my thoughts captive to Christ), 
6. Body (I have family history of arthritis so I want to proactively work to keep my joints healthy, and I want to be flexible and in shape), 
7. Sleep (with how busy I am it's easy to get warn out and get sick - sleep will keep me going).

And being the teacher that I am, I decided to make a visual way to track these goals. I color coded each category, used 3x5 note cards, printed out my tracking sheets, and then sticky tacked them it all to the back of my closet door. This way I can keep track and stay motivated by my goals. 

This is something that I want to do for myself, for my family, my future family, and ultimately for God! If you are my friend and know me, please help keep me accountable. I can't do it alone. God is with me, but friends are also nice. And if you want to join me in this journey, let me know! We can reach our goals together!

God bless you!

#ministrylifeprobs

Late night theological talks.
Early morning rides to school.
Hanging out with young teens and all their silliness.
Funny inside jokes and fun memories.
Trips and camps.
Weekly connecting with students and showing them love.
Behavior problems and discipline.
Slang and strange sayings.
Paperwork, planning, and preparation.
Fundraising.

There are so many things that come with being in youth minsitry. It really is a whole different world, a whole different life than most know or experience. I have definitely had a call on my life to be in youth ministry, and I am SO blessed to be!

Lately, though, there have been aspects that I've needed to really step up my game in. Working with Lane County Youth for Christ I am esentially a local missionary. My paycheck is from the donations of generous people who support what God is doing in the Fern Ridge area through the ministry of Campus Life. I have been challenged (and I know it's needed) to get more people supporting me financially so that I don't have the stress of worrying about bills. Asking for money is NEVER easy, but I have to remember that if I don't even try then I could be stealing from others the blessing of giving. It's about correcting and directing my mindset.

If you are reading this and want to be a part of what God is doing by supporting financially, please feel fee to click here and do so. If you have any questions about the ministry or want to know more you can go to the Lane County YFC website. It takes all of us doing our part, but I know that ultimately it is God who works through each of us in what we can do. Together we can reach the youth for Christ.

And for your viewing pleasure, this is the goofy pic that we took for the office and that is on the website.

God bless you all,
Mandy

South America

The next adventure that God has for me is to travel with a group from the Northwest Christian University choir to South America. We will be touring in Panama and Colombia and singing back up for Steve Green! It's going to be an amazing experience (and already has been) that I am very thankful to be a part of. We will do concerts in the evenings and get to do different mission work in the mornings, including working with Streams of Mercy Ministry in Bogota where we will get to love on orphans and assist the ministry in whatever way they need.

We've all been learning the songs, which are all in Spanish, and trying to earn funds. The whole trip costs $2,500 per person. God has been faithful to bless the fundraisers that I have done so far! Praise Him!! I'm waiting to see Him work more miracles because I'm supposed to have the rest of the money by the end of this month and I am just over half way there. Please be in prayer with me that it will all work out and that I will continue to simply trust and not stress out.

If you want to be a part of this trip with me, keep me in prayer! :) I will be posting up more blog entries about my time in each country and how God uses and blesses our group. I could also use more funds if you are willing and able. EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS. There is no gift to small or that God can't multiply. If you feel led to give you can send money to me at:

Mandy Robertson

P.O. Box 973

Veneta, OR 97487

Or you can make sure that you add a note that the donation is for me and send it to NCU at:

Northwest Christian University

Choir Mission Trip

828 E.11th Ave.

Eugene, OR 97401



Missions of Hope

It's funny; whenever it's time for me to share about my mission trip to Kenya and what God did there I am at a loss for words. Words can't really paint the whole picture, anyhow. People say that others will never understand until they go themselves, that's the truth. I'll give you the best I can do and pray that God fills in the gaps for you to know a little more what He's doing in Kenya... and in me.
About a year ago I heard at church (one of my churches) that a team was going to be sent to Africa the summer of 2012. I knew instantly that I was supposed to go. I had always wanted to go to Africa, but there was just something inside me (the Holy Spirit) that made it feel so right. I couldn't imagine not going! I expressed my interest right away to my friend, the youth pastor, and I got the okay a few months later to be on the team. I was so excited and thankful and I tried to fund raise. The experience was going to cost $3,500! Being the second mission trip of the year I had to put off focusing on it while working on Mexico. It was going to be very different since none of my close friends would be there; I also was going to be the only unmarried, younger female. I didn't know most of the team super well, and I knew that God would teach me new things and grow me in different areas. There was a lot of work that went into being able to go... but most of it was on His end. He takes care of me and provides EVERY time He calls.

For the month or so beforehand I had a strange feeling like I didn't even want to go! It was crazy because I had been looking forward to it for some time, but I had a lot going on at work and felt like I didn't want to be away from "real life" for so long. But at the same time I KNEW that those feelings were an attack and that the Lord was going to use me and show me amazing things in Nairobi. So I went. :) We served in the Mathare Valley in Nairobi Kenya. This is one of the oldest and worst slums. It's only 3mi by 1mi and contains more than 800,000 people! Mathare is split into ten "smaller" communities with about 80,000 in each. We spent a little time in Pangani where we did orientation and Joska where we had church on Sunday. Most of our time, though, was spent in Mabatini.

When we got to the airport, despite the long lines of missions groups waiting to get into the country, we were all excited (and VERY tired). The tricky part was collecting luggage... we lost two suitcases from the group... a friend's and MINE!!! It was the craziest. I had a blast with it, though, and felt like a "real missionary" when i had to wear the same skirt four days in a row. Thankfully, I did pack the skirt and an extra shirt in my carry-on. I loved everything about being there, though. The food was great, the people fantastic, and God the BEST. And time seemed to go by so quickly. By the time I got my suitcase I was definitely ready for it, but it didn't feel like it was as long as it really was.
Monday - Friday we were blessed to be able to do a Vacation Bible School in the Mabatini school. I got to teach the Bible lesson with two other amazing people. One is an artist so he drew all of our visuals on the chalk board as I told the lesson. Then our third teacher would do a review with the children. With 448 students in the school we had about 90 kiddos in each group!! I lost my voice by the end of the week, and it didn't really help that I had to yell over the music class that was right below our classroom! God totally got me through. It was interesting that I had to learn to slow down. If you know me personally, you know that I can speak quite quickly. For the two younger classes I had to speak slowly for the translators. Then for the other three groups I had to really focus on my speed because the kids just had me to listen to. The children at the schools are all so very hungry to learn and grow; it's really quite inspiring. They have scriptures memorized and know facts very well. Everyone wanted to answer when a question was asked. They truly are beautiful. I loved teaching them each day more about how: God Listens! God Provides! God Forgives! God Protects! God Rules!
Each day after VBS we would go out into the community of Mabatini and do home visits. We worked with the Community Health Evangelism (CHE) group and did a project called "Bring the Light." It was beautiful. We would split up into groups so as to not overwhelm each home and to cover more ground. The great thing is that the Lord was with each group. We would go into the homes, the small, dark, crammed homes made of tin, and we would just love on the people living there. Each group also had social workers from the schools and CHE workers to help translate where needed and get us started. They would find out if the person(s) we were to speak with was (were) born again believers, simply church goers, or had nothing to do with any of it. From there we'd decide where to take the conversation. If they were born again we would go straight to talking about health and encourage them in their walk. We educated people on HIV, malaria, and clean water - bringing them the light of health education into their lives. If the person was not born again, though, we would go right to the heart of the matter, the Gospel. Using evangecubes we got to share Jesus (I was blessed to be able to do this three times!) When this happened we brought real Light to them. The while we were in their homes straining to see with no natural light there was a CHE worker on the roof cutting a hole in the tin roof to be replaced by clear plastic bringing physical light into their lives. It was a very touching time and I was blessed to see two women come into the kingdom that week through Bring the Light. One was quite pregnant, had two older kids, and her husband was a drunk that didn't help as much as he should. I saw a light in her and she was so overjoyed when she finally decided to give her life to the Lord. I will never forget the beauty that radiated from her.
Time for a shameless plug: Sponsorship.
There is just something so mysterious about sending money to help a kid that we've never seen. But I've seen them. I had heard stories of how badly they need our assistance, but I never guessed that it was as bad as reality. My heart went out to every kid. They had torn sweaters, worn shoes, and little school supplies. But they were so very thankful for what they did have. It was always interesting seeing them after school when they were out of their uniforms in their mismatched, dusty, old street clothes. I knew by Tuesday morning that I HAD TO sponsor a kid. I told the woman in charge that I wanted a kid where there was a need, not giving any kind of specifics. I had one by that evening. A 5 year old little boy named Michael from MABATINI! AND I was able to meet and spend time with him Wednesday afternoon. I fell in love with that boy. And he came to love me, too, really, ask anyone! I can't wait to watch him grow up. God is good, and He definitely uses child sponsorship. One day when we were asking the children what they were thankful for one boy stood up and proudly said, "our sponsors." Don't wonder how you will afford it, just step out in faith and sponsor a child.

As you can tell I had a very blessed time in Mabatini. Those children stole my heart. I WILL go back someday (hopefully soon.) It was pretty cool, though, that we got two days at the end of the trip to decompress and just bask in the beauty of the Lord. We went on safari in Masa Mara and were able to see all kinds of fun animals and simply be thankful for who the Creator is and all that He has given to us. There's no way we can ever repay Him for all that He has given, is giving, and will give. And He's okay with that. That's the beauty of love. God loves us, and you better believe I LOVE HIM!

Puente de Amistad

"Dios le bendiga!" God bless you is a phrase that I use a lot while in Mexico. This year when I went was different from any other. Normally, I have driven down to Tijuana with a crew from Northwest Christian University. When I wasn't able to go with my own school I knew that it didn't mean that I wasn't supposed to go. I immediately asked one of my favorite people, my old campus pastor (and the new one at New Hope Christian College) if I could go with NHCC down to Mexico. He accepted me, no questions asked. It was interesting only knowing a hand full of people in the group, but everyone really made me feel loved, included, and part of the group. We all bonded and worked well together.

We were blessed to be able to do so many different things. We visited orphanages, preached in church, worshiped with believers and those who need healing physically and emotionally, fed the homeless, loved on the outcasts, did Bible study with a rehab group, spent time with HIV positive folks, and even helped to build on an addition to a church. God really worked through our team. The friendships that were already established grew and some of us even made instant besties, and I know that they are all relationships that will last a long time whether we see each other often or not. One girl from New Hope and I have served together in Mexico a few times now and we call each other best friends that never see each other. :) It's amazing how Christ brings us together and gives us a foundation for building an amazing relationship!

One of many favorite moments from the trip was being able to help a local pastor with his opening night of a coffee house ministry. Every year before we go to Mexico we brainstorm, pray, hear from God, and discuss what we would like to do in Tijuana. For a few years, now, ministering to the young adults/college-age students has been a thing that God has put on our hearts. But there was never a way to do so; there aren't many ministries to that particular population. This year God changed that. He had put it on a pastor's heart to create a place where the college students could hang out - a positive environment where they could be loved on in Jesus' name. We were blessed to be there the first night he was in business. In fact, we got to go out and pass around fliers letting people know about it! I spoke the most Spanish in my group that went out and was able to talk to a couple of girls (not quite college age) and see that there was excitement about having a coffee shop to go to. They ended up showing up and really connected to us. We talked about girl things (boys) and in my best Spanish soapbox speech I tried to encourage them to pursue a relationship with Christ first and only find guys who do the same. It was a great time of just hanging out and sharing life. They even added us on Facebook and I've been able to remember to pray for them and encourage them in Christ.

I was blessed to be able to go back down to Mexico and be used by God. It's got a very special place in my heart and I know that I will continue to go and visit for MANY years to come.